Newport International Boat Show

Have you ever been on a yacht, or stood next to one live? Seriously if you haven't you need to. Today was such a cool day. Mr. and Mrs. Delaporta (my g/f's parents) have a 24ft boat. So every now and again they like to go check out all of the boats they can't afford, and look at a couple of the ones they can. Personally, I think that's so cool that they go and dream build together like that just for the heck of it. Maybe that's one of the many reasons why they have an awesome marriage. And just to make sure they had a fun day, they invited me to tag along. I've thought about it a lot and have come to the conclusion that if I wasn't me, I'd want to hang out with me as much as possible. So it's not that surprising that they feel the same way.

:)

Outside of cranking out Canoeing Merit Badge in the Boy Scouts as a kid I know absolutely nothing about boats. Comparatively Mr. D knows a ton. And he really really enjoys being a boat owner, which makes hanging out with him around these big toys a lot of fun. Until about 4 hours ago, I never had a desire to own a boat. I now have a need to own one. Mr. D was showing me some of the mid to upper 30 foot Sea Rays, and Mariners (I think that is what they were called) - and they were cool. Apparently when it comes to sea vessels you kind of need to pick your poison; do you want speed, or luxury? The fast boats are smaller, more streamlined, and they can move. If however you want something more luxurious it's going to move a little bit slower because they aren't as sleek due to being tall so one can fully stand upright in them. We looked at both types and I came to a rapid conclussion - I can buy a fast car. And I will drive my fast car, 200 mph to the dock where I will get on my luxurious, styling, takes your breath away hands down nicest yacht my money can buy. Oh yeah baby. Daddy is home.

This is Mr. D captaining a 40 foot Sea Ray. Doesn't he look like a pro?



I'm not even going to describe the 30 foot yachts outside of saying they're cool. They were very nice, cost about $100,000 give or take $20K-$30K...whatever. Now I thought they were nice until we saw the "big boys" (which I thought were nice until I got home and looked online at the stuff that motivates the people who already own the big boys - but we won't go there).

First up is "Thisizzit". That's her name, Thisizzit.



She's 43 feet long, was made in 1998 which I didn't realize when I was on it. Asking price of $370,000. I was ready to put a down payment on it. I thought it was amazing. There were 2 bathrooms on board, a bedroom that you can fully stand up in, another smaller bedroom, kitchen - and I mean stove top, oven, microwave, refrigerator, freezer (albeit they were small - they were there), I mean it was incredible. As I'm falling in love with this thing Mr. D points out some of the flaws, that obviously I can't see because I'm distracted by how cool of a vessel this is. But apparently even in the luxury class ships there are choices on how luxurious you want to go. Some people want as little work as possible and they get plastic decks and rubber trims. Some people (myself included) prefer the hardwood. It just looks classier. I mean honestly, if you're going to buy a yacht, do it right. I believe it was called "teak". What happens is the sun bleaches all of the color out of the wood every year. So you (and by you I mean your employee) has to fully bleach out all of the color, stain it, then coat it with sealant to make sure it doesn't get destroyed. We saw a couple of yachts that just weren't kept up to my newfound high standards, and sadly Thisizzit was one of them. The teak was all bleached out. But I walked right over the deck and didn't even notice. If I successfully post the video I believe you can see it. And please ignore the geekgasm I had. Don't judge me, these things were NICE!

Here is one with me at the bow:



So after I took a ton of pictures with Thisizzit, we saw this yacht company that Mr. & Mrs. D had never heard of. Azimut Yachts. Turns out it's an Italian company. Sweet. Now there were sales people all over the place, obviously, we're at a boat show. But the Azimut had a sales lady all to itself. Thankfully most of the people at this show aren't looking to buy anything (right now anyway) which makes sales people sad...and bored. So we stood in this lady's line of sight, asked a stupid question to strike up a conversation and boom, we got invited on board. Okay, they made me take of my shoes before I walked around the inside of it. This baby is 47 feet long, holds something absolutely ridiculous like 400 gallons of gas (yeah now you can complain about gas prices...) and can be yours for the mere price of one million big ones. I thought filling up a boat with 400 gallons of diesel fuel at $3.50/gallon was expensive until I realized that anyone who can afford this kind of a yacht should be able to afford the gas too.

There were 2 full bathrooms, which were nicer than the bathroom in my apartment. The sinks were this copper color that weren't set into a counter. I can't describe it well, it was like having a big old mixing bowl as a sink. It just looked classy. Stand up showers in both bathrooms - or heads - and yes I looked like an idiot not knowing what "the head" was. I'm kind of ashamed. I've seen my share of war movies I should really know better. The kitchen has a 3 burner stove, I mean guys it's a full blown kitchen. You don't have to duck down anywhere. You've got your master bedroom, 2 smaller bedrooms with 2 single beds each, and a flat screen tv in each bedroom. All of this is below deck. Below deck! My dad had a boat once when I was a kid. Below deck you could store 6 life jackets and a fire extinguisher before it got crowded.

So then you've got I don't know what you call it, the main deck, where el capitan sits to drive the boat. Well, if he wants. There is a sitting area right behind him, and another flat screen tv on the wall. Then you go outside on the deck near the stern, and climb up to the next level. Now it was raining so we couldn't see anything, but we did notice that there is ample room on the bow of the boat to just go lay out in the sun. You've also got a steering wheel up there, so if it's nice out you can stay up on this level and work on your tan as you cruise around the oceans. There is comfortable seating up there for maybe 5 or 6 people, who can gather around a little table.

In total I couldn't have spent more than 3 minutes on this ship, but man was that enough to expand my dream to include a yacht in it. I'm glad we didn't go on this boat first though, because after we saw it I walked past Thisizzit and cried because of how much awesomeness she lost in comparisson. And it's sad because it's not her fault! She's just trying to be the best yacht she can be...but it just isn't working out as well as she had hoped. It's a real shame.

Oh and in case you're wondering, I just looked online and saw some yachts that are 150 feet long. They cost more than all of the houses on the street I live on combined. So my dream has been stretched and I'm only at about 30% capacity of what's out there on the market. Crazy huh? Hey, they don't build these boats out of boredom...somebody's gotta buck up and figure out a way to buy them. I vote me!

Oh man. Mr. and Mrs. D, if you guys somehow find this blogitty blog blog - THANK YOU so much for inviting me to join you guys on your dream building yacht day. It was awesome. Now I'm going to figure out how to get some pictures posted!



PS: Okay it's been an hour. The video isn't loading. I don't know why. Foolishly I took no pictures of the Azimut Yacht, just video. This should do the trick! Enjoy.

I'm going to rant here, be prepared

Actually my friends, this is not a rant from me. This is the work of my sister Kim. For those of you who don't know her, maybe some background will help.

Kim is 2 years younger than me. If you are familiar with the personality types she is a Sanguine all the way. She is incredibly intelligent, and puts up with very little crap. Which goes without saying, is a dangerous combination for those who try to dish it out to her. I found this on her facebook page and felt compelled to share it with the world.

And yes, Kim is one of my heros. After reading her rant, she may very well be one of yours. Enjoy.


**************************************

I had a credit card issued by a company that shall remain nameless. I was, in my own mind, a decent customer. I always paid on time, far more than the minimum due. Until, one day last summer, my bill got lost. I was late by a week or so and my interest rate SPIKED from 11.99% to 28.99%. No, you didn't read wrong. I REALLY SAID TWENTY EIGHT POINT NINETY NINE PERCENT. Outrageous, right?

I dealt for a few months, and last month managed to get the bill paid in full. Today, I received a March bill for $67.71! Silly me, I thought I was done with my full and final payment. I forgot to consider the interest charged from the time the bill was issued to the time paid. UGGGH. Frustrating to say the least, but makes at least a modicum of sense. Pissed me off to no end though.

So I called them. I told them I was a little outraged. I asked how much I actually had to send them to ensure that I would not be sent ANOTHER innane bill for interest on interest. I asked them how long I'd have to pay interest on interest on interest and stressed that I needed to be free of them. I may have called them villians also. Perhaps. Probably. Repeatedly? Okay, repeatedly. Corrupt, contemptuous, nefarious, and wicked also.

I may have told them that hiking interest rates to damn near thirty percent is the reason for the state of the American economy. (I understand that's not entirely true, but I was mad. It plays its own special role. My girl Suze Orman will tell you the same).

The bored sounding woman with her lovely Indian accent estimated a number that I should send to avoid further interest charges. I was very tempted to rant about American unemployment and outsourcing jobs, but managed to bit my tounge. That was painful, seeing as I'd burned it on too hot coffee earlier in the evening...

I told her I'd send a check in the morning and would like to close my account "Right now at this very minute, and not a moment later!"

She transferred me to customer service.

Bank Customer Service Representative: "How can I help you"

Kim: "I'd like to close my account"

Bank Customer Service Representative: "May I ask you why?"

Kim: "You most certainly may. My interest rate, after years of being with your company, has spiked to 28.00%. I find this abominable and it should be illegal. Business practices such as these are responsible for the state of the American economy and you people should be ashamed of yourself. Furthermore, I received a bill after thinking I'd zeroed out my account and am mad about that. Now I understand that you are simply the middleman hired to do very little more than answer the phone and placate people, and as such I'm not going to get TOO nasty with you. I also understand that it is your job to convince me to keep my account open. Let me tell you now: no matter what you do, you cannot convince me to do such a thing. You can lower my interest to three percent and give me a sixteen thousand dollar credit limit, and I'll still close the account. So please don't waste your breath or my time and just close the account."

(I wish I could convey my tone. It's always about the tone. I like to think I'm scary. Some of you have seen me this way and would probably agree.)

She gave me her mandatory blurb about how to re-open should I choose to do so (at which point I rudely talked over her and told her I would only do so in a fit of insanity). Upon hanging up the phone, I got out my checkbook to end this for good.

Not to be redundant, but the memo on my check reads: "You people are crooks and villians and should be ashamed of hiking rates to 28.99%. You are the reason for this recession and I hope it haunts your dreams."

Just for my own personal satisfaction, I used pink gel pen. I'm not entirely sure how accurate this is, but I was once told that for any document to be legally binding, it must be signed in blue or black ink. I love to be slightly passive agressive. It's good for the soul (or at the very least, the ego). Come to think of it, there might be an argument for some people's souls being comprised solely of their egos! Alas, philosophical ponderings for another rant...

I made a note on the statement that I had included another three dollars in my check "AS TO AVOID EVER HEARING FROM YOU CROOKS AGAIN".

Then, I addressed it to "The Crooks at: ---------- Bank" (Name omitted to prevent acusations of slander. If you want to know the name of the bank, I'll tell you in a private message.).

Then, I drew an arrow pointing to the return address and wrote "Be careful starting an account with this company. They are devious..."

On the back, I drew an arrow to the return address and wrote "Villians who like to hike interest rates to 29% and are (partially) responsible for the state of our economy. To all postal workers who handle this correspondence: tread carefully with this company!"

Now I don't really feel better. The only real way to feel better is to blog about it (obviously). No, seriously, sometimes a good rant is good for the egotistical soul.

But my question is this: are my exterior envelope rantiings actually slanderous? What a minute thing to consider and/or worry about, right? People get sued for stranger things.

I guess, all in all, I feel lucky that I'm able to be done with it and not one of the poor folks who will actually be haunted by such unfathomable interest (Thanks to one amazing fiance who decided he'd like to take care of the bill in full, minus $67.71, of which no one had premonition).

End rant. Thanks for playing...

My problem with cold calling

Morons. That pretty much sums it up. I'm having the hardest time adjusting from having conversations with intelligent people at work, to trying to communicate with morons. You really have to try to be nice to them, and give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe they aren't dumb, but it's hard. And today the opportunity presented itself for me to ask one of them, why it is they do what they do. Say things that they don't mean. Absent mindedly lie. Have conversations with me about things that do not exist. It is odd how it happens, it is even odder THAT it happens.

Here is some info you may need. My job essentially is to call on businesses that use Sprint or Nextel cell phones in the company. I make sure they are happy as most businesses fall through the cracks since retail is a totally different ball game, and business accounts get overlooked for discounts, promotions, new rate plans etc. So the key to this cold call is fairly straight forward: 1. Find out if this company is still using our phones, and 2. Find out who the contact person is who will know how they are working and if there are any problems.

Easy enough right! One would think so! But one would be wrong...here is the story.

I have just spoken to the secretary who verified A. They use nextel phones and B. Vicki is the person who deals with them. GREAT! I ask to be transferred to Vicki. The phone is ringing, and she picks up. . .

Vicki: Hello
Bill: Hey is this Vicki?
V: Yes
B: Hey Vicki this is Bill from Sprint/Nextel how are ya?
V: I'm good how are you?
B: I'm good thanks. Are you the person in charge of the Sprint/Nextel account over there?
V: Yes
B: Oh good. I'm just calling to make sure that everything is going well with your phones. Are you guys having any sort of problems with dropped calls or service in your area?
V: No, well sometimes but it's okay. Nothing to complain about, just the usual.
B: Okay good. And how has your bill been lately, is everything good there? You're not going over on minutes or spending too much?
V: No the bill is fine.
B: Awesome, and the phones themselves, are they holding up okay or do your guys beat up on them pretty hard?
V: Um, I'm not sure, I do know they are rough on them.
B: Okay, well do you like the phones you have?
V: Yeah they work well.
B: Good. Well before I go just so you know about it, Nextel has an offer out right now for buy one phone get 4 for free on the i576. It's a very rugged construction grade Nextel phone...
V: Wait. Nextel. We don't use Nextel phones.

NOW THIS has happened to me more than once. And I know I wasn't a straight A student, but I'm struggling here. WHAT HAVE WE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IF YOU DON'T USE NEXTEL PHONES!? How can a person say "yes I deal with the nextel account, yes the service is fine, the BILL (that we don't even get) is fine, WE LIKE THE PHONES..." and then oh wait...you don't even use them. This is amazing. So Vicki threw me off. And she was the 4th person TODAY who did this to me where mid way through a conversation realized they don't use our phones!

It was a combination of many things I guess. It was a bit of a slow day. No one in the office really wanted to do much. It was right after lunch and I had a heavy stomach, and just enough of an attitude to decide that THIS TIME...Vicki must pay for her stupidity. My goal: To make her realize how foolish she was. Again, she had just said...

V: Wait. Nextel. We don't use Nextel phones.
B: Oh. ...Well then who are you using for your cell phone provider?
V: I'm afraid I can't give you that information.
B: Oh. ....Okay. Ummm, I'm sorry. I'm confused. I thought you said you handled the Sprint/Nextel account?
V: I do.
B: But you don't use Sprint/Nextel phones?
V: No. We don't have an account with your company.
B: But..... you... handle that account?
V: Yes
B: Oooookay, I'm really lost. So do you use our internet cards for the laptops or something?
V: (Getting frustrated) No, we don't have any Sprint or Nextel account, I don't know what you don't understand.
B: I just don't understand that you said you handle that account, but you don't have one.
V: Right. I do handle the account.
B: You do handle the account! Okay, what's on it?
V: No...There's... YOU'RE not listening. I handle the account. We just don't use you for the cell phones, but I am the person who handles the account.
B: Okay, yeah I'm sorry. I'm just really confused because you're saying you handle an account that doesn't exist. And you were talking about it a minute ago like it does, I mean you can see how that can be confusing right?
V: NO! YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME! I HANDLE THE...

Then I heard her trail off with a long sigh, followed by a *Click*

And just like that, I had been hung up on. Which for the first time ever, felt like a win.

Have you ever been talking to a friend about a movie you recently saw, to then discover 2 minutes into the conversation that in fact you had NOT ever seen that movie?

Have you ever recommended a restaurant, told someone about the delicious food you ate there, discussed how reasonable the prices were...only to discover that in the REAL WORLD...you've never been to that place?

Have you ever been in charge of something? The person who handles, oh I don't know, let's say a cell phone account. And then mid conversation realize that it didn't exist?

NO! NOBODY DOES THESE THINGS IN THE REAL WORLD! ONLY IN A CUBICLE CAN YOUR MIND GET SO WARPED THAT YOU MAKE THINGS UP THAT AREN'T REAL! IT DRIVES ME INSANE BECAUSE THIS HAPPENS TO ME ALL THE TIME AND I CAN'T STOP THEM FROM DOING IT! IT'S LIKE THEY ARE STUCK BETWEEN ASLEEP AND AWAKE AND I CAN'T SNAP THEM OUT OF IT!

The only thing crazier than this are the people who expect to hang around in this kind of an environment for 40 hours a week for the next 50 years. I know for a fact I cannot pull that off.

It makes me miss the people who thought Sony had invented an invisible MP3 player.



OOOOOKAY unrelated thought, this is a bonus. So I just used spell checker to verify that I paid close enough attention through high school for a computer to at least be able to recognize what I'm trying to spell. I noticed that the word "internet" was marked for correction. Curious as to how I mis-spelled "internet" I clicked on it. Only to discover that spell check wants it to be CAPITALIZED...like it is a proper noun! A living thing, maybe a person. Why google do you want the internet to be capitalized? I don't know, to me that is a bit shocking. Anyway, internet, you shall forever be in lower case. Unless somehow you are promoted as lead off hitter in a sentence, and only then will you be considered for the glory of capitalization.

Wow I'm really tired that this stuff matters to me. Okay I'm outta here. Later, internet.