So I lied, this is a list of 4 things. Is that okay, I mean really? I hope so. I feel better about this whole thing now, how can you lie to people right off the bat like that! I'm still not changing the title though. Okay here we go!
1) Running. A few years ago I changed my fast food eating habits and started doing a few sit ups a couple of nights a week. The other couple of nights in those weeks I would run, no farther than 3 miles. It started with just a mile 2x a week, then my sweet spot became 2 miles...and if I felt really good I'd do 3. What sucks is, it kind of takes a mile to start to feel good...so if you're just doing 2 miles, half of your run is terrible! And oh my gosh getting started on a treadmill, that's hard. Outside on the streets though - forget it, that's even harder! Like you can stop at any moment and just say "That's it, I'm done!". The treadmill though...it knows you quit. It beeps at you and the other people around you in the gym who are silently competing to out-run you in either pace or distance - yeah they know they've won too. And don't even act like you've never thought as you were frolicking down your infinite 3 feet of revolving terrain "Look at that guy...wow, I was about to end this little jog but not now. I'd rather die than let that joker outrun me". Yeah you're guilty! This is why it sucks. If I didn't get such great results from running, I'd have no problem never doing it again. Bummer.
2) Vitamins. I take this stuff called Double X, and I've got to say - it really is amazing. The vitamins are 100% organic. The company that makes them owns a ton of land out in California, and they pride themselves on going from plant to pill as fast as possible. If there is too long of a delay, the whole batch gets junked. They own the airspace above their farms to prevent air pollution, and they bought the surrounding farms and use that land as a buffer to prevent pesticide run off. I can actually feel a difference in my body if I don't take my vitamins. I've fought off colds with them before too - admitting that I know less about nutrition than the people who make this stuff isn't hard, so when I don't feel healthy I just assume the things my body needs must be in them! It's worked out so far. But that is such a bummer because I'm TERRIBLE at remembering to take them! Life would be so much easier if they didn't work because then I could just... well... stop.
3) NeilMed Sinus Rinse. For those of you who don't know, here is THE VIDEO. Watch it. Then come back. Okay so we know I suck at remembering things like vitamins, and that is also true for my allergy meds. It makes me feel like a sick person taking inhalers and nasal sprays all the time, so when I forget - this stuff gives a fast relief. Which is awesome. Here is the problem, that lady in the video - yeah that's not what it looks like. First of all, the first time you intentionally shoot warm liquid UP your own nose, you will think you are about to die. No joke, I almost drowned. "Some liquid may go down your throat, so be sure to spit it out"...ya huh, sure. I gave that bad boy a squeeze for the first time and ALL of the liquid came out my mouth. I apparently had issues with the "close your throat" step, and yeah I almost died. So now I reserve my nasal rinse for the shower where I can make as big of a mess as I want. Also, the calmness this lady has on her face, not accurate. Here is what it really looks like...
Can you see the horror? The fear? The hand of another person holding your face up to this thing telling you it's going to be okay when at any minute you could freak out, take a breath, and that's it - game over?! DO YOU SEE THAT!? Anyway, that is why it would be great if this stuff did nothing. But it helps, which is unfortunate, because for people like me it's a toss up whether I'm going to make it out of the ordeal alive.
4) Robitussin. Same vein here - the stuff works great when you've got that cough that just wont go away. The one that your wife suggests you take something for early in the evening and you play the macho-I'm-perfectly-fine-card... and then you cough and cough and cough and she's like "I told you hours ago to take something, and now it's time for bed and you're miserable", and you're like "I'm not miserable, I feel great other than this cough", and she's like "well you're keeping me up, and you can't sleep either, and you're going to feel like crap in the morning", and then you think about it and then you realize she's right but you're screwed because you went all in with the macho tirade, so you fight off the inevitable - swallow a cap full of the fast acting tussin, and you're out like a light in 15 minutes. Is that just my house? Maybe. I do have a question though - why is it every time you take this stuff, your body does this unstoppable quiver, your face cringes up and your head shakes, and you involuntarily make this very loud sigh of disgust? How that is good for you, or helpful in any way is beyond me.
5) To close this out - nice and sweet, #5 thing that works well that I wish didn't: Lists with 5 items. I'm a big fan of the 4 item list.
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